Middle School Talent Show

I know I said the purpose of this blog was to track my “church journey.” But I went to a middle school talent show tonight (my sister’s a teacher), and I have to write about it. (File this under intercessory prayer or something.)

There are few things in life as splendidly awkward as a middle school talent show.

Let’s briefly review:

Dancing act: The girl danced to a J-lo song. Lots of knees and elbows jabbing around… and one weird bit where she kind of rolled around on the floor… not really sure what that was about. But hey, she seemed like she was having fun.

Musical/ Singing acts: Actually not bad. I’ll lump them all together as a 6.5 out of 10, with enough technical audio problems to push the fun factor up closer to an 8. (There is something amazing about a kid standing in complete silence under withering spotlights, waiting for the sound system to work.)

Magic and Comedy act: A magic and comedy act with the emphasis on… neither. Yikes. This was honestly cringe-inducing. The “magician” spent most of her time yelling at her assistant… which I guess was a joke? It was the sort of stuff that might be funny in a movie, like Napoleon Dynamite, but in real life it was more like having your fingers slowly shaved off. “We’re making a magic cake in this hat… now mix up the ingredients, egg, water, flour… and now to turn it over on your head!” Hurray! She’s humiliated! And there wasn’t even wacky, playful music to soften the blow.

Talent Show Hosts: More like “talent-less” show hosts! Ooooh! Dang! Just kidding. They weren't terrible. A little “too cool for school,” for my taste, but I’d say at least 10% of their jokes worked out really nicely. Unfortunately I believe the rest of their jokes will leave deep emotional scars on their classmates. (Kidding!)

In conclusion, if you have the chance to see a middle school talent show, you should definitely do it.